


Promise

by Mufffy



Category: Supernatural
Genre: A lot - Freeform, Angst, Crying, Crying Dean Winchester, Destiel - Freeform, Fuckin, Gay, Hugs, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Like, M/M, Swearing, because obviously, cuz yes, honestly just end my suffering, oh boi, season 6 ig since thats where i am ??, seriosuly ??, thats a tag ?, this made me cry for like 2 seconds, whats wrong with this fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-21
Updated: 2019-01-21
Packaged: 2019-10-13 16:22:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17491295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mufffy/pseuds/Mufffy
Summary: How many handprints does Dean have after his 7th attempt of suicide?





	Promise

**Author's Note:**

> guess whos back  
> back again  
> im sadly back  
> tell a friend
> 
> so hA- um, obviously ive been watching supernatural and.. watched like 4 seasons in one week and uh, instead of writing- i watched.. and now im half way through season 6 and um well im sorry =v=
> 
> I know it's not really an excuse but if it makes any of you feel better i have like.. 3 more longer supernatural ideas for fanfics

Dean groaned as he opened his eyes and instantly saw the noose hanging from the closet beam in the wall. He frowned and carefully sat up, rubbing his neck before remembering the hand count. It had been seven for almost a whole year, but Castiel had to keep bringing him back. Living wasn't worth it anymore. It was his hell. Watching his brother and Castiel struggle and try to keep living. Sam always had been stronger than Dean. Everyone knew it, he even admitted himself quite a few times. Castiel, a literal angel, tried to keep him encouraged, but Dean somehow kept dragging himself down. He'd build up courage and confidence only to crush himself with insecurities and self-doubt.

Dean stood up in the hotel closet before taking a step into the room, closing the door behind him. He sighed in relief that he was alone before wincing at the sudden burn on his cheek. Dean gasped and ran to the bathroom, staring at his face in disappointment as Cas' handprint burned into his cheek. That's gonna be hard to cover. The other seven on his arms and chest. Easy. This eighth one was right in plain fucking sight.

The more Dean thought about it, the more he realized nothing worked. Guns and blades and stab wounds. Overdosing and even cutting his own head off. No matter what he tried, Cas would always bring him back. It got to the point of, what if he just didn't fear death? Maybe if he kept trying, Cas would stop trying and leave Dean to suffer in hell. Then he wouldn't have to worry about him. Cas wouldn't have to worry about taking time out of his day to save Dean. He could stop saving Dean and just live his life out in heaven. Or earth. Maybe Cas likes earth.. but Dean didn't.

Dean raised his head when he heard feathers softly shuffle in the bedroom. Dean frowned and glanced out the door to see Castiel standing there with an emotionless expression. Dean sighed as he scratched the back of his head and slowly walked out of the bathroom to stand a few feet from Cas. Dean cleared his sore throat and spoke up "Cas-"

"Don't" Castiel cut him off as he stared ahead of him. Cas softly sighed before his gaze shifted to look at Dean. Dean's heart ached at the sight of Castiel's wet eyes and stiff frown. He was trying not to cry. Dean could see it. Cas' rapid stare as his eyes searched for something in Dean's. Dean only blinked and looked down in shame. This was always the worst part of coming back "Eight" Cas blurted as Dean snapped his head back up "Eight? And I don't even get an apology"

"Cas, I'm-"

"Just don't" Castiel ordered him as he raised a hand to rub his eyes, wiping them finally with his sleeve. Dean stared in partial confusion and fear. He'd never seen Cas cry, not like this. Not over him. Not over anything. Maybe Jimmy, but never Castiel. It surprised him the first time Cas fell asleep in the car.

"Cas are you..." Dean sighed and glanced away "Are you okay?" He asked.

Castiel looked up at him before a tear fell from his eyes. Fuck. Cas was actually crying. Dean swallowed thickly as he reached out a hand to gently touch Cas' shoulder. Castiel only stared at him before Dean was pulling him into a hug, holding Cas' face against his neck. Dean didn't quite know what to expect when he hugged Cas tighter, but it sure wasn't for Cas to start sobbing, gripping Dean's shirt. He carefully let his hands slide down to Cas' waist to pull him closer. Dean let it happen quietly as he held Cas and let him cry. He'd never seen Castiel cry before, let alone an angel cry before. It was interesting how similar it was to a human's, even if he was in a human vessel. It wasn't the same as knowing it was his Castiel crying. It was Dean's fault his Castiel was crying. 

Dean was snapped from his thoughts when Cas abruptly pulled away to hold Dean's face, sliding his hand over the burned marking over his cheek, lining them up before Castiel finally spoke "Stop killing yourself.." He whispered, more tears falling. If he wasn't crying Dean might've just laughed at that statement. But instead, he carefully nodded and felt Cas' finger trace over his ear to play with his short hairs "Promis me" Cas demanded.

"Cas, you know-"

"Promise me!" Cas practically snapped before whispering calmer "..Promise"

Dean stared at him before taking a breath "I promise I'll stay here. With you" Dean whispered back.

**Author's Note:**

> FUCKING SHORT AND CRINGEY YOU BET HA- HONESTLY I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU GUYS WHERE IVE BEEN BUT HERE HAVE GAY REILUSDKJFH


End file.
